In a similar way to the way Greek mythology gave us Midas and the ‘everything he touches turns to gold’ scenario, modern life has given us a particular genetic abnormality known as the crappas touch where, for no apparent reason, everything you touch turns to shit.
This is a phenomenon that can affect us all, like a bad hair day or a bad taste day when no matter what you do, everything gets f4cked.
Some people are just naturally blessed at dealing with this sort of situation but for others, navigation out of a toilet cubicle can become a disaster of Titanic proportions if the crappas touch is upon you.
I’m sure you know the kind of thing.
You get up in the morning, thankful that you have actually woken to another day then everything goes downwards.
You look at something remotely similar to yourself in the mirror; decide a shower might improve things; you drop the soap then crick your neck picking it up; you painfully try to wash your hair and the shower blows a fuse then, to boot, you discover someone has done a load of washing and omitted to put out fresh towels. You drip your way, naked and temporarily blinded by shampoo, to the bedroom and the box that conceals all things towel like where upon, in your mole like state, in mid stride, you slam your foot into said box, sustaining two metatarsal fractures in the process.
You get to work with your head on sideways, looking like a caricature where you’ve been crossed with a bus stop and Verbal Kimt, everyone has a laugh at your expense and although you try to join in, in reality your having Keyser Soze thoughts about all those unsympathetic little f4ckers.
And so the day goes on…
I’m not a great believer in Karma, which is probably just as well.
I have had the crappas touch on more than one occasion but for anyone to have been dealt a hand like that, they would have had to have inflicted some seriously bad shit upon their fellow man.
I’m reliably informed by people in tweed blazers with leather elbow patches that it’s all about equilibrium.
Balance.
The world revolves around equilibrium, and not just figuratively. Sir Isaac Newton told us so – you know, for every action there’s an equal and opposite reaction and all that other physics stuff that most of us forgot as soon we left school.
Some people believe that, theologically, for every evil there is a corresponding good.
For every darkness there’s a light.
What this means of course is that while you are having the mother of all crap days, you can be comforted by the fact that someone somewhere is having a day of multiple orgasms.
The bollocks you can.
Nor is it much comfort to you, while you’re sporting head to toe elastoplast, that the daily news reports riots, starvation, floods and war.
Makes you wonder what kind of Karma brought them to deserve that lot in life.
Next, the little five minute parochial news slot reports that your local councils have contrived, in their infinite wisdom, to deprive the future generation of a couple of swimming pools, a skating rink, a petting farm, a interactive science exhibit, a concert venue, and a bunch of primary schools, all the while lamenting underage drinking, yob culture and the loss of youth.
These are the f4ckers who should be having a bad day.
That’s why I have no time for Karma
To reflect the anger that initially prompted this post, I’ve decided to dirty things up a little…
Drive-By Truckers – The Dirty South
http://rapidshare.com/files/99726691/The_Dirty_South.rar
Drive-By Truckers – 40 Watt Club
http://rapidshare.com/files/99716363/40_Watt_Club__Athens_Georgia__12.01.2008.rar
…for anyone who, like me, was disappointed by DBT’s recent album, perhaps karma has balanced things out by making Jason Isbell’s solo album a belter
Jason Isbell – Sirens Of The Ditch
http://rapidshare.com/files/99630558/Sirens_Of_The_Ditch.rar
Steve Earle – Live At The BBC
http://rapidshare.com/files/99669315/BBC_Radio_1_Live.rar
Lynyrd Skynyrd – Live In Asbury Park
http://rapidshare.com/files/99640818/skynlynyrdAsburyParkNJ71377.rar
Nirvana – Live at the Pat O’Brien Pavilion
http://rapidshare.com/files/99655288/Pat_O_Brien_Pavilion.rar
Pearl Jam – Bridge School Benefit 1999
http://rapidshare.com/files/99657634/Bridge_School_Benefit_1999.rar
Metallica – Live At The Bridge School Benefit 2007
http://rapidshare.com/files/99650515/Live_at_The_Bridge_School_Benefit__Mountain_View__CA__28.10.2007_.rar
REM - Perfect Square
http://rapidshare.com/files/102912366/Perfect_Square.rar
Stiff Little Fingers – Live in Aberdeen
http://rapidshare.com/files/99677007/Live_In_Aberdeen.rar
The Godfathers – More Songs About Love And Hate
http://rapidshare.com/files/99701203/More_Songs_About_Love___Hate.rar
Reef - Glow
http://rapidshare.com/files/99662016/Glow.rar
Page & Plant – Glastonbury 1995
http://rapidshare.com/files/99635590/Glastonbury_1995.rar
Cheers
Hooli
Thursday, 27 March 2008
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5 comments:
Yep, what goes around doesn't always come around - sadly. When it happens to me I reach for The Godfathers and turn up the volume. Seems like I'm not the only one.
I wonder if their recent gigs will herald a new album.
Can but hope.
Hey, thanks for the Godfathers. Great album.
Cheers!
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