Hooligan's Lament: I've nothing against old people but...

Saturday, 17 November 2007

I've nothing against old people but...

My youngest daughter reliably informs me that there are now only 38 days until Christmas. It makes me think of Christmas as a child and the hope and expectation that it brought and also makes me think that I should be battling with the other shoppers instead of sitting here typing this.

When I was 11, I was happy to get a little red plastic transistor radio with an earpiece. I remember how excited I was by this, how excited I was the first time I sat halfway up the stairs, listening to the Top 20, how excited I was when I got my first guitar and how excited I was when it was my daughters’ first Christmases.

Now, as they approach their teens, I find it all very disturbing. The way that the exchanging of gifts has gotten so out of hand to the point where, over the Christmas period, the average family spends something equivalent to the third world debt, is nothing short of obscene.
Something small and plasticky that costs less than a fiver and usually breaks within a fortnight no longer cuts the mustard.
I hear that the Nintendo Wii is the must have, to die for, gift this year.

Why?

What makes normal, sane, rational people camp outside their local Comet or whatever, just for the chance to be in the queue.
Sadly, I find my self being sucked into the same trap.

iPods seem to be at the top of this years list in our household.

What do you do as a parent?
How do you avoid disappointing them yet still remain true to your principles?

I have no issue with iPods or technology. Time moves on. Personally, I’d be lost without mine. What I do have an issue with is shelling out for something that will meet its demise in the washing machine, that will be left on the bus or will get swapped for a couple of playstation games and a packet of bubble gum.
You probably think this shows a lack of respect for my little darlings but I know what they are like.
I too was a child once.

Now, returning to finish this post, having spent my Saturday afternoon on my annual Christmas shopping trip, and having closely avoided being impaled by numerous umbrellas, I return with no iPods, sore feet and pastic bag ridged fingers - I might never play guitar again.

Worst of all is the frustration. How can it be possible to get so may old people in one place.
All I want to do is get from one end of John Lewis to the other and there are coffin dodgers streaming out of every imaginable corner.
What is it that compels old, large women with big blue raincoats stop mid aisle for a discussions with their partners.
I've nothing against old people but, given that many of them don't work, have free passes for the buses and can go shopping any time they want, why the f%ck do they have to go on a Saturday which is the only day available to the average working man.

All of this, of course make me the typical grumpy old man, joining the ranks of Rick Wakeman, Bob Geldof and other such grumpies.

For anyone else in the same boat, here’s the perfect anti-Christmas antidote.

Roddy Frame

Live At Ronnie Scotts

http://rapidshare.com/files/67113998/Live_At_Ronnie_Scotts_29.05.05.rar

Humpff Family

Mothers

http://rapidshare.com/files/67167032/Mothers.rar

Big Country

Live At Newcastle City Hall, 08.12.1999 http://rapidshare.com/files/67108899/Live_At_Newcastle_City_Hall__08.12.1999.rar

The Silencers

Seconds Of Pleaseure